Lately, you’ve been showing up, doing everything that’s expected, and making sure all the boxes are checked. From the outside, it looks like everything’s in place.
But when the world quiets down and you finally have a moment to breathe, you’re met with a heaviness you didn’t see coming, because beneath the surface, you’re just plain tired. Worn down in ways that aren’t always easy to explain. And if that’s where you find yourself right now, it’s okay. You’re not alone.
The Invisible Weight You’re Carrying
What you’re feeling isn’t just stress or exhaustion, it’s an energy drain. It’s not always the big, dramatic events that take the most from you. It’s the accumulation of things unseen: grief you haven’t named, expectations you carry quietly, unspoken tensions that linger.
And sometimes, identifying it is the most powerful first step toward healing.
Your Energy Is Like a Bucket
Imagine your energy as a bucket filled with water. Every text you answer, every errand you run, every meeting you sit through… it all takes a little bit out.
But it’s not just the doing that drains you. It’s the feeling. Especially the feelings we don’t fully understand, or never really give ourselves permission to process.
Grief. Frustration. Shame. Resentment. Anxiety.
They don’t just weigh us down, they quietly poke holes in our bucket, letting energy seep out in ways we barely notice. Until we’re empty.
Some days, it’s a slow leak. Other days, it’s a full-on flood.
When you reach the end of an “ordinary” day and still feel depleted, that’s your cue to pause.
Where Are You Leaking?
We rarely pause long enough to notice what’s actually chipping away at us.
We stay busy. We stay focused. We keep moving forward until we hit that invisible wall.
Here are a few common (and surprisingly sneaky) energy drains:
- Unspoken disappointment, with ourselves, with others, with life
- People-pleasing, saying “yes” when our spirit screams “no”
- Mental clutter, the racing thoughts, the unfinished to-do’s, the low hum of anxiety
- Perfectionism, that voice that tells you everything depends on you, and you can’t get it wrong
- Avoiding hard emotions, pushing down your pain and pretending it’s not there
- Unfinished grief, those losses we never made space to honor
- Old stories, or negative beliefs we adopted in childhood that no longer serve us
We get so used to running on empty that we start to believe it’s just the way life is.
But exhaustion doesn’t have to be your baseline.
There’s more available to you—more peace, more presence, more life—and it starts with noticing what’s being slowly taken from you.
When Emotions Deplete or Renew
Not every feeling depletes you. Some fill you back up.
Certain emotions steady us. Others bring us home to ourselves. They remind us that we’re okay, even when things aren’t.
Let’s take a look at the emotional difference between depleting and renewing energies:
| Situations | Depleting Feelings | Current Solutions | Renewing Emotions |
|---|---|---|---|
| The Loss of a Client | Discouraged | Increase Sales Focus | Compassion |
| Financial Stress | Anxiety | Reduce Expenses | Calm |
| Complex Projects | Overwhelmed | Procrastinate | Ease, Peace |
The shift isn’t about forcing positivity. It’s about acknowledging what’s real, and choosing how you want to carry it.
Anxiety might still be there, but when you breathe into calm, you take back the driver’s seat.
Those renewing emotions don’t just lift your spirits. They bring clarity. They make it easier to move forward.
A Simple Technique to Shift: A.B.E.
There are days when you know you need something to change, but you’re too drained to even figure out where to start.
When I feel like that, I come back to a simple practice I call A.B.E.
It’s not about pretending everything’s okay. It’s about coming back to yourself, gently and honestly.
A – Attention Bring your awareness to the center of your chest, around your heart. Close your eyes if it helps. B – Breath Breathe slowly and deeply in and out of your heart space. Let your breath be gentle, like a wave lapping the shore. E – Emotion Call to mind a renewing emotion, something you’ve felt before. Maybe gratitude, peace, love, or joy. Let that feeling flow in and out with each breath.
Even one minute of this practice can change your state. Your thoughts slow down. Your body softens. Your perception clears. And your heart? It begins to speak.
When Your Past Hijacks the Present
There are moments when your reaction to something feels bigger than it should be.
A simple comment stings.
A delay feels like rejection.
You freeze up, shut down, or spiral.
You’re not crazy. You’re not broken. You’re just human, and your nervous system is trying to protect you.
Often, we’re not reacting to this moment, we’re reacting to a moment that already happened and never got resolved. That’s called emotional memory. When a past experience caused pain or fear, your brain stored it, especially if you didn’t have support to process it at the time. Now, even a harmless situation can trigger the same emotional alarm bells.
But here’s what’s powerful: You don’t have to believe every emotional alarm bell your body rings.
You can pause. You can breathe. You can remind yourself: This reaction might not be about right now.
As Viktor Frankl once said: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
That space is where healing begins.
Refilling Your Bucket
Once you’ve noticed the leaks, the next question is: What helps me feel whole again?
It doesn’t have to be complicated or curated. It just has to be intentional.
- A walk in silence without your phone
- A few deep breaths with your hand on your heart
- Saying “no” without apology
- Speaking your truth even if your voice shakes
- Taking a bath, a break, a nap
- Writing down your feelings without editing
- Letting yourself cry, laugh, or rest
There’s no right way to refill. There’s just your way. And most importantly: you don’t have to earn it.
Let This Be the Moment You Pause
You are allowed to notice when you’re tired, not just physically, but soul-deep.
You are allowed to let go of what is no longer serving you.
You are allowed to feel what you feel, without judgment.
And you are allowed to fill your own bucket, again and again and again.
You are not lazy. You are not weak. You are not behind.
You’re just human. And you’re tired.
You are simply being invited, right now, to begin again. This time, with greater awareness, compassion, and space to breathe.
If this resonated with you, I invite you to take one small step today:
- Try the ABE technique.
- Journal a list of your biggest drains and biggest renewals.
- Rewrite an old story that is no longer serving you.
You don’t have to figure it out alone.
Your energy matters. Your heart matters. You matter.
And your healing begins not in the doing, but in the noticing.